The Jabberwock

Hi, I’m Khandy or Khandice, you can call me whichever you’d like. As you can see in the title above, I will be talking about my experience of being an immigrant girl. I was born in a country in Southeast Asia, the Philippines, and fun fact, the country consists of around 7,641 islands.

I’m just an average Asian immigrant kid, middle class, and not popular at all. Pretty cool right? One more cool fact is that my country has a lot of beautiful landscapes and beaches. My life as an immigrant girl is pretty hard because I don’t know the regulations and how things go here in the United States so it’s pretty confusing most of the time. I’m still kinda struggling with the language because I still have an accent (well kinda) and English isn’t my first language. As you guys know, people aren’t born perfect in life so I still make grammar errors and stutter sometimes.

When I was 7 years old, I moved to the United States along with my family in Effingham, Illinois. I was in culture shock when I first came to school here in the United States, I had a lot of white classmates and a few people of color. Luckily, I made a lot of friends that weren’t too racist to me. My old school was South Side school and the teachers there were really nice. I love my old teacher but I forgot her name. I didn’t know how to speak English at that time so I remained silent and I was considered the quiet kid because I only knew how to speak Tagalog during that time. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself for not speaking English. Before, I wanted to become white with blonde shiny hair and blue like an ocean of eyes, just to fit in. I also wanted to have fair white skin and speak English professionally.  While settling in Illinois, I made a lot of white friends like Kora, Alyssa, and Elizabeth. Alyssa and I used to be really close but not anymore. Well, those three girls I mentioned, we hardly even talk anymore and I don’t think we’re friends anymore. I remember when I was invited to go to a birthday party but my parents didn’t allow me to go because Asian parents are strict. I also was invited to get my nails done with my friend but you know what happens next. Yes, good job! Strict parents, yes.

That friend who invited me is Vietnamese, she is pretty nice and really cool. I would play tag with her and her friends. By the way, her name is Christina and she helped me speak English. Christina has been there for me when I am feeling down and she never left me alone. When I told my friends I had to move to Boston, they were all shocked and sad to see me go. They were like “Khandice, noooo! Please don’t leave us” and “I am going to miss you”. I made countless memories with all of my Filipino friends like Sandy and Gabby who were there along the way and supporting me and everyone I know.

Then, I moved to Boston to start a new life in the city and I was still heartbroken with the decision of moving here. I still long to go back to Effingham but I heard they moved to Texas, but I am still grateful to have them as my family. Moving here was tough and challenging but I overcame those obstacles, I practiced English, read a lot of books, and made friends. Then, I started going to Tech Boston New Mission High School, and lastly to Boston Latin Academy. At New Mission, I went through a lot of racism. This one guy during science class said the c-word and I was also told that I’m supposed to know everything just because I am Asian. Like bruh, I don’t know anything and I’m not that smart. I’m still not good at English but let’s say that I have improved a lot since 2nd grade. I learned that having friends that will support you until you reach your death will change your whole life and those friends will always be with you even if they’re far away from you. My friends and I still talk but not as much as before.

During the year 2020, everything changed and I learned many lessons. I learned to be grateful to have a roof on top of my head and I was saddened to hear racism on the news. Then George Floyd’s death came to my attention and many people of color died. It made me shatter because the world has become evil and full of crimes. Then after that, during the summer of 2022, I went to the Philippines after 6 years. A lot has changed and people spoke in English to me like I don’t speak Tagalog at all. But, Tagalog will always be my first language and I still know how to speak Tagalog even though I’m not fluent that much anymore. I also made friends here in Boston that accepted me even though I am not perfect and have a lot of flaws.

I now love my skin color and I love everything about my country. I still speak Tagalog to my family, again even though I am not that fluent anymore. I am grateful for everything about me and my friends who have helped me with everything. Salamat po! This is the end of my story as an immigrant girl and I will continue to make a lot of memories here in the United States as an immigrant.