The Jabberwock

“You think anybody else is coming?” 

Ric whispered to Sarge. Sarge looked around at the crowd; there were six other boys around a circular white table, each with some kind of collection of coins in front of them. One had a pill bottle full of quarters, another a plastic gum container of dimes. One boy with a thick glasses that distorted his eyes, and a zipped-up sweater and winter hat had a ten dollar bill. 

“Couldn’t help but notice you need some change there, Zachary.” A boy said to Zach, who had the bill. “I’ll exchange coins for the ten. No questions asked.” 

Zach looked at the boy, and smiled gratefully. “Thank you Edwin.” He gave Edwin the bill. Edwin gave Zach several quarters. Then, Edwin gave leaned in, holding two large coins, and looked up at Zach. He raised his eyebrows and put his hand onto Zach’s earnestly. “Zachary Leonard– you’re lucky. I’ve got some canadian coins here. They’ll be worth a lot more in a couple years, too. They’re worth a dollar each.” Zach broke out into a big smile. “Thanks, Edwin.” Then he looked around the table. “You’re all so nice here– I thought you’d all be much less relaxed,” he said as he accepted the two canadian coins. “Of course, Zachary.” Said Edwin as he leaned back and slipped the bill into his pocket. He looked at Ric and Sarge, who were engrossed in discussion. 

“I was hoping they’d be wealthier.” 

Whispered Ric. 

“Yeah, well, they’re not.” 

Sarge responded, then turned his head up to Zachary Leonard, who was excitedly flipping the canadian nickels. He dropped one, and threw himself onto the floor to get it. 

“They’re pretty stupid though. We could shake them pretty good.” 

“Yeah, those canadian coins look pretty valuable. I don’t know what Ed-Pablo was thinking giving him them. We oughta win those.” 

“Can we get to playing?” 

Edwin spoke up. 

“One minute, Pab’.” 

He turned to Sarge, then nodded. Sarge stood up, looked around at the crowd, and said, “Welcome gentlemen, to the grand opening of Ms. Ferris’ second lunch poker ring! You’ve all been specially invited to participate in this exclusive club.” 

He scowled for a moment, looking at all of the “gentlemen.” 

“If any of you have any friends who might want to participate,” he added, “then we’d be glad to welcome them to the uh… the exclusive club, also.” He glanced at Ric, who took out a deck of playing cards. “The game we’ll be playing is poker. Texas Hold ‘Em. You’re all uh… you’re all such a good bunch of educated gentlemen, I’m sure you all know how to play.” 

He sat down, then added, “Oh and also, I’ll be dealing. The minimum buy-in each round is a nickel. Best of luck!” 

He took the deck, shuffled it, and began to deal. Two off the top for each player, including Ric. As the players began looking at their cards and chatting amongst themselves, Ric leaned over and whispered to Sarge. 

“Of course they know how to play, you dummy. We’ve played with these guys a million times already. We got one newcomer. One!” 

“I know that.” Said Sarge through gritted Teeth. He flipped three cards over. A boy with a hood over his head and a mask over his mouth said “Two quarters,” and threw two coins nonchalantly into the pot. Ed-Pablo grumbled loudly, followed by two others who folded. Zach, on the other hand, started

grinning brilliantly. “Make it three.” He said, and happily dropped three quarters into the pot. “Three! Three quarters, Zach.” Said Ed-Pablo. “You’re trying to kill me here. Three quarters. God, that’s– in this economy, what is that?” He turned to the boy with the mask and hood. There was a moment of silence, and Pablo coughed loudly. 

“That’s– that’s, err, that’s a lot, boss. Sure is a lot nowadays.” Then, after looking at Zach: “I’ll bet Pablo’s got a real bad hand if he’s this upset about it.” 

Zach’s smile got even bigger. “Dhamar, it’s alright. Edwin’s got a good hand. I’m sure you’ve got a good hand, Edwin.” 

Ed-Pablo put the money in. He took it out of a fanny pack which was evidently full of coins. It said on the side, on top of a piece of tape, “CORTERS.” Ric went in, and Dhamar folded. Sarge dealt two more cards, and by the end the pot had raised to six dollars. 

“Why the hell’d you deal me this crap? This is crap, man.” 

Ric tried to whisper to Sarge. Everybody heard it, though, and so threw his cards onto the table and said suavely, “This dealer’s an ass. A two and a seven. What the hell?” As everybody laughed he turned and whispered, “Tap my foot if you’re giving me junk. I don’t need to make any donations to fanny pack over here.” Sarge nodded imperceptively. He kept his eyes almost straight ahead toward the pot, a resting scowl on his face, never turning when anybody, Ric especially, spoke to him. 

Sarge looked up toward Zach and Ed-Pablo. “Ric folds on a raise by Edwin. Two players left– do either of you want to raise? We’re at nine quarters and a nickel.” 

“I’ll put in another dollar.” Said Zach, who put in a canadian coin. Ed-Pablo quickly reached out and gave it back to him, though. “Oh, Zach– listen, pal– You hold on to that. I gave it to you to be nice. You wouldn’t give away a present, would you? Just put it in quarters. I’ll match, see?” He sheepishly slid four quarters into the pot, and Zach followed. Then Ed-Pablo looked at Sarge, tapped the table and said, “We’ll check. Right, Zach?” 

Zach tapped the table, and Sarge inhaled formally, clearing his throat. “Alright gentlemen, you’ve got two aces out, a queen, a seven, and a nine. Those aces don’t look friendly. I can’t see a flush or a straight– so it’s up to whoever’s got that ace. Show your cards, gents.” 

Zach put his cards down triumphantly. A smile rang across his face. In front of him was an ace and a seven. 

“Full house from Zach,” said Sarge. Ric looked at Ed-Pablo. “Wrong round to bluff, ‘eh?” Ric said mockingly. “That’s going to Zach Leo– for sure that’s going to Zach,” whispered the crowd around the table. Ed-Pablo kept a cold expression, and raised his eyebrows toward Ric. Then he looked towards Leo, and lowered his cards slowly onto the table. 

“Two aces from Edwin. That’s four of a kind. Beats a full house, the pot goes to Edw–” Sarge started to say, then stopped. He squinted at the cards. Ric squinted, too, and then all at once his mouth flung open. 

“Hey! Edwin’s got five aces!” 

Disgusted chatter and angry outbursts arose from the table. “This guy’s cheating!” went one boy. “He’s trying to rip us! Ban him, Ric!” said another. Dhamar said,“What’s the problem…? If he cheated, can I have the pot, instead?” 

“Guys! Fellas, I say– listen, fellas!” Said Ric, standing up and speaking over the crowd. “If the guy hid an ace on him, he’d probably hide other cards, too. Right? Wouldn’t he?” There were murmurs of agreement among the boys, while Ed-Pablo stared at him coldly. “So I say we frisk him!”

All eyes turned towards Ed-Pablo, who dropped his confident demeanor, said “The fuck?” And began to explain himself. “I didn’t cheat, you morons! Zach did! Look at that ace– look at the ace he’s got in his hand! It’s from a different deck!” 

Everybody began clamoring around Zach’s hand. Ric rushed to the other side of the table, grabbed the card, and held it up for all to see. They all inspected it in awe, and Ric shouted out, “He’s right!” All the clamor turned against Zach, instead of Edwin. 

“Man can’t even cheat right. Get him out of here!” Said a tall boy they called Louie. They all collectively agreed with yelling and arguing that Zach should be removed from the poker circle. “No!” He cried out. “I didn’t meant to cheat at all! It must’ve been an accident!” He shouted as Louie started forcefully dragging him away, and as Ed-Pablo proudly slid the pot into his fanny pack, putting nickles into a separate plastic bag labeled “NIKLS.” 

But then, as the commotion reached its peak, everybody stopped. Louie stopped dragging, and Zach stopped kicking uselessly. They all looked to the upper corner of the room. The bell was ringing. Their lunch break was over, and they needed to go to class. Louie dropped Zach at once, and helped him up. “Well then.” He said. “I’ll see you next week.” Zach stared at him with bewilderment as he picked up his bag and walked away. Most of the crowd did, and similar farewells were expressed all around the mob. Most were distressed that they’d only gotten to play one game, and raved about how they’d need to start earlier next week. 

“That was a good time, Ric man. Next week, yeah? Every week, yeah?” Said Dhamar to Ric. “Of course, bud. Sarge’ll be dealing– hopefully we’ll get to play a few more games than we did this time. I’ll see ya then, alright?” Ric responded. 

It came down to just Ric and Sarge as Ms. Ferris returned from lunch break and began teaching them Latin again. They fixed the chairs to how they’d originally been, collected the deck, and moved to their regular seats at the back of the room. 

“We didn’t win shit.” 

Whispered Ric. 

“Yeah.” 

Said Sarge, who was staring wistfully out the window. Ric thought for a moment, scowling down at his desk. 

“That extra ace bit– who the hell was that, anyway? It wasn’t me.” 

Sarge glanced at him, and without saying anything took out the deck. He proceeded to fish out aces, one at a time, until he’d counted seven different aces from three different decks. He looked at Ric. “Not a single ace anybody had that round was from this deck.” They looked at each other. Then, without warning, they both started laughing hysterically, completely unaware of the full class of learning children which had amassed since lunch ended. 

“You’re telling me they both cheated? That idiot Zach Leo– he cheated, too?” 

“Yup– they both did. I knew it right away, because I had the other two real aces stashed away to give you next round. I was just trying not to laugh that whole time– I didn’t know what the hell was going on.” 

They each started laughing again until they were shushed by the teacher. 

“By the way–” said Sarge. “If I tap your foot twice, it’s good. Once means I’m giving you garbage. Don’t be too suspicious about it though– you’ve got to lose sometimes too.” “Alright, alright.” 

Ric hesitated, and smiled to himself.

“So we’re all just cheating, then.” 

Sarge turned to Ric. “Yup.” He said unapologetically. “Next time we’ll cheat better than those assholes, though.”